9 iun. 2010
33 seconds ago
@rapistrash things are eventually bound to break. we also. other's hearts. others our hearts. there is no enough giving, taking can be to much. as bird can be, you can be free. also freedom means lonliness. the girl can be unreachable, just cause to keep someone close for self its selfish -otherwise letting go is just 'letting go' . i empathise with you
20 mar. 2010
.zis
I have my moments but no one
wants just moments.
loving the right person at the wrong time
"Hai la Brasov, e alt aer acolo si stiu multe locuri!"
Dar locul meu draga, unde e?
Esti o prosta.
"Esti un prost."
Esti...
"Sunt."
Uite vezi ce proasta esti, nu intelegi nimic!
"Ma, da tu intelegi ca te iubesc."
Taci din gura, mai avem putin pana la altar.
Nu vreau sa zambesc fals. Proasto.
"Imi esti dator cu o inghetata..."
Imi esti restanta cu ceva rece, un gest, un cuvant, ceva, orice...
Pentru ca am fost rau si merit.
"Te pierd."
Si eu te pierd.
"Uite cum facem, ne pierdem amundoi, si ne prefacem ca ne cautam si apoi ne intoarcam cu fata si ne luam in brate, ne regasim."
Si daca eu nu mai stiu care mi-e fata? Ce fac?
"Spune-mi ca ma vrei si ca ti-e dor de mine si te voi auzi, si te voi gasi, asa cum numai eu vreau sa te gasesc..."
Bine, dar sa ma saruti. Te rog.
“Promit. promit, neiubitule.”
Si apoi….liniste.
13 feb. 2010
25 ian. 2010
the male disease
- it's called being foolish yet.the men disesase includes the
need to feel in charge at all times - in charge, in control, in command.
- a real man sees himself as king of the hill, leader of the pack, captain of the ship. but all the while in order to fit in, to belong he has to act like all the other man and do what they do; so he'll be accepted, and get a good job, a promotion, and a raise and a porsche and a wife. a wife who will imediately trade in the porsche on a nice sensible dodge van with folding seats, so they can be like
all the other boring families. the poor fuck.... the poor stupid fuck.
- his manliness also requires that he refuses to go to a doctor or a hospital unless it can be demonstrated to him that he as in fact beeing clinically dead for over 6
months. " no use goin' to the hospital, honey! i don't seem to be in a coma..." therefore he must learn to ignore pain.
" it does't really hurt...bleading from six holes in the head, it doesn't really hurt...just give me the remote and get me a beer, an' get the fuck-out-of-here..."
- most men learn this stupid shit from their father. fathers teach their sons not to cry. " don't let me hear u crying...or i'll come up there and give u smth. to cry about..!!" great stuff, hah?
- all the problems in the world, repeat all the problems in the world can be traced to their fathers due to their sons. so little boys hide their feelings and society likes that. because that when they get to be 18, they'll be able to go overseas and kill strangers without feeling anything. and of course that bargain includes a certain relucktant willing to have their balls shot-off. " honey, i have to go overseas and have my balls hot-off... or else the rest of the guys will think i am too affraid to go overseas and have my balls shot-off..." the poor fucks... the poor stupid fucks
- and so, as a result of all the represion of felling, the extend of the average man emotional expression is the "hi five"... or sometimess when really deep feelings emerge...both hands - the "hi ten". this is raw emotion ! and that's about all they're capable of. and they have dad to thank - thanks dad !
- but wait , dont think dad's can't be fun at times too. after all, dads introduced sons to the wonderful world of man. the male sub-couchers - the real tough-guys-masculine-he-man stuff. no whipes, to pussies, no softies.
- there are 5 deadly man subcultures, and they all overlap:
the car- machinery culture
the police/military culture
the outdoors and gun culture
the sports and competition culture and
the drug&alcohol culture.
and as a bonus i'm gonna throw in one more: the 'let's go and get some pussy and beat the shit out of queers'-culture.
as i say, they all overlap. many men belong to all six.
- this male universe is ofcourse detectable by analising its combustable formula: gasoline, gun-powder, alcohol and adrenaline. a chemistry rendered even more lethal the everpresent, everdelightfull accelerant: testosterone. talking about substance abuse? its chemical dependancy you are looking into, you might look into testosterone. TESTOSTERONE- the most leathal substance on earth. and does not come from a laboratory, it comes from the scrotum. a scrotum located interestingly enough not too far from the ass-hole. how fitting? and happenes in all these male subcultures share a particulare set of features: homophobia, cuppled with an odd ironic complete child-like trust in male authority.
- men are atracted to powerfull men. they also share a strong fear and dislike of women. and this despite of a pathological obsession with pussy
- so why are men like this? i think the overriding problem for men is that in life main event is reproduction. they're left out. women do all the work. what the men contribute with? generally they're looking just for a quick parking space for some sperm. coupple of hits, a hot jizm and the volume of the TV goes right back up. it's my belief that most of these flood-male-chromosomes sould not be allowed to go forward for even one more unfortunate generation. but such as biology. and so, excluded as they are from reproduction, men must find other ways to feel usefull and
worthwhile- as a result they mesure themselves by the size of their guns, the size of their cars, the size of their dicks and the size of their wallets > all contests that no man can win consistently.
- let me tell you how all this happened: because women are the source of all human life. the first human being came from the belly of a female. and all human fetuses begin as females. the brain itself it's basically female until hormones act on it to make structurally male. so in reality all men are modiffied females. where do you think those nipples came from, guys? you're an afterthought - maybe that's what's bothering you. it's that what's on your mind, bonkey? that explains hostility : women got the good job, men got the shitty. females create life, men end it. war,
crime, violence, our primarily male franchises. man-shit, its nature supreme joke. deep in the womb men start as the good thing. they end up as the crappy thing. not all men. just enough....just enough to fuck things up. and the dumbest part of them all is not that men even accept this shit; half of it they do to themselves.
- by the way - i'm not letting women completly off the hook: the one part of the lower anatomy that is the same in both sexes is the ass-hole. the women who are ass-holes they aren't called like that. they're named for a diffenrent part of their lower anatomy: they're called cunts. isn't nice that cunts and ass-holes are next-door neighbours?
need to feel in charge at all times - in charge, in control, in command.
- a real man sees himself as king of the hill, leader of the pack, captain of the ship. but all the while in order to fit in, to belong he has to act like all the other man and do what they do; so he'll be accepted, and get a good job, a promotion, and a raise and a porsche and a wife. a wife who will imediately trade in the porsche on a nice sensible dodge van with folding seats, so they can be like
all the other boring families. the poor fuck.... the poor stupid fuck.
- his manliness also requires that he refuses to go to a doctor or a hospital unless it can be demonstrated to him that he as in fact beeing clinically dead for over 6
months. " no use goin' to the hospital, honey! i don't seem to be in a coma..." therefore he must learn to ignore pain.
" it does't really hurt...bleading from six holes in the head, it doesn't really hurt...just give me the remote and get me a beer, an' get the fuck-out-of-here..."
- most men learn this stupid shit from their father. fathers teach their sons not to cry. " don't let me hear u crying...or i'll come up there and give u smth. to cry about..!!" great stuff, hah?
- all the problems in the world, repeat all the problems in the world can be traced to their fathers due to their sons. so little boys hide their feelings and society likes that. because that when they get to be 18, they'll be able to go overseas and kill strangers without feeling anything. and of course that bargain includes a certain relucktant willing to have their balls shot-off. " honey, i have to go overseas and have my balls hot-off... or else the rest of the guys will think i am too affraid to go overseas and have my balls shot-off..." the poor fucks... the poor stupid fucks
- and so, as a result of all the represion of felling, the extend of the average man emotional expression is the "hi five"... or sometimess when really deep feelings emerge...both hands - the "hi ten". this is raw emotion ! and that's about all they're capable of. and they have dad to thank - thanks dad !
- but wait , dont think dad's can't be fun at times too. after all, dads introduced sons to the wonderful world of man. the male sub-couchers - the real tough-guys-masculine-he-man stuff. no whipes, to pussies, no softies.
- there are 5 deadly man subcultures, and they all overlap:
the car- machinery culture
the police/military culture
the outdoors and gun culture
the sports and competition culture and
the drug&alcohol culture.
and as a bonus i'm gonna throw in one more: the 'let's go and get some pussy and beat the shit out of queers'-culture.
as i say, they all overlap. many men belong to all six.
- this male universe is ofcourse detectable by analising its combustable formula: gasoline, gun-powder, alcohol and adrenaline. a chemistry rendered even more lethal the everpresent, everdelightfull accelerant: testosterone. talking about substance abuse? its chemical dependancy you are looking into, you might look into testosterone. TESTOSTERONE- the most leathal substance on earth. and does not come from a laboratory, it comes from the scrotum. a scrotum located interestingly enough not too far from the ass-hole. how fitting? and happenes in all these male subcultures share a particulare set of features: homophobia, cuppled with an odd ironic complete child-like trust in male authority.
- men are atracted to powerfull men. they also share a strong fear and dislike of women. and this despite of a pathological obsession with pussy
- so why are men like this? i think the overriding problem for men is that in life main event is reproduction. they're left out. women do all the work. what the men contribute with? generally they're looking just for a quick parking space for some sperm. coupple of hits, a hot jizm and the volume of the TV goes right back up. it's my belief that most of these flood-male-chromosomes sould not be allowed to go forward for even one more unfortunate generation. but such as biology. and so, excluded as they are from reproduction, men must find other ways to feel usefull and
worthwhile- as a result they mesure themselves by the size of their guns, the size of their cars, the size of their dicks and the size of their wallets > all contests that no man can win consistently.
- let me tell you how all this happened: because women are the source of all human life. the first human being came from the belly of a female. and all human fetuses begin as females. the brain itself it's basically female until hormones act on it to make structurally male. so in reality all men are modiffied females. where do you think those nipples came from, guys? you're an afterthought - maybe that's what's bothering you. it's that what's on your mind, bonkey? that explains hostility : women got the good job, men got the shitty. females create life, men end it. war,
crime, violence, our primarily male franchises. man-shit, its nature supreme joke. deep in the womb men start as the good thing. they end up as the crappy thing. not all men. just enough....just enough to fuck things up. and the dumbest part of them all is not that men even accept this shit; half of it they do to themselves.
- by the way - i'm not letting women completly off the hook: the one part of the lower anatomy that is the same in both sexes is the ass-hole. the women who are ass-holes they aren't called like that. they're named for a diffenrent part of their lower anatomy: they're called cunts. isn't nice that cunts and ass-holes are next-door neighbours?
19 ian. 2010
29 dec. 2009
"cazul de..." ( intro-rezumat pentru 2009 )
Nu e niciodata uşor. I guess i am just bound to break people's hearts. Ieri s-a întamplat...somehow... er'ry single fkin time i manage to do the same thing over and over and over. If this could be hell , than this is mine. E doar o problemă de timp. Aia e simplu şi uşor de trecut. S-a întamplat la începutul anului. Ce bine că mi-ai amintit. Aşa mi-am început anul. De atunci îţi dai seama ca nu am mai vb cu el decât rahaturi. Mi-e dor de el sometimes- de poveşti. Nu mi-a zis ca şi-o dorea chiar aşa mult...şi eu ca prostu m-am băgat. E frumoasă, dar a rămas acolo. Şi cam aşa am ţinut-o tot anul. Deci clar ca am fost peste tot, dar de fapt nicăieri - şi evident , singur. Iniţial nu voiam nimic de la ea. Nici ea de la mine. Nu ştiam că e în situaţia de "nerevenire " după o relaţie de ani. Atunci am ştiut: it was meant 4 nothing. Adică... nu poţi ridica precum în magie o tristeţe de pe fruntea cuiva, tristeţe aşezată în caţiva ani. I felt so....so useless. Mai ales că ea şi întindea mâna după ajutor, dar în acelaşi timp dădea înapoi cu frică. My saddest experience din ultima vreme. Înca o mai văd , din când in când. Dar mi-e să nu o speriu. Şi dacă nu o speriu şi se apropie, în nimicnicia mea să nu îi frâng inima şi-aşa fragilă. Ăsta e cazul de : 'mai bine fără'.
18 dec. 2009
gps - oranj
LG: la 8 o sun... " sunteti in reteaua orange..."
LG: f interesant
BM: dada
LG: cica ... n-o avut semnal
BM: ii un fel de gps pt prosti faza aia cu sunteti in reteaua orange
BM: te intrebi in mijlocul unei paduri pierdut : "unde dracu is?"
BM: nimica mai simplu scoti telefonu' si suni la cineva care il are inchis
BM: si afli unu doi unde esti ca sa stii sa vi acasa
LG: asta o pun pe blog
BM is typing a message.
BM: baga acolo la maxime
Cu multumiri, Mircea
_______**___________
saving.....new section: maxime
LG: f interesant
BM: dada
LG: cica ... n-o avut semnal
BM: ii un fel de gps pt prosti faza aia cu sunteti in reteaua orange
BM: te intrebi in mijlocul unei paduri pierdut : "unde dracu is?"
BM: nimica mai simplu scoti telefonu' si suni la cineva care il are inchis
BM: si afli unu doi unde esti ca sa stii sa vi acasa
LG: asta o pun pe blog
BM is typing a message.
BM: baga acolo la maxime
Cu multumiri, Mircea
_______**___________
saving.....new section: maxime
5 dec. 2009
4 dec. 2009
flashing in alegere - formating
" how would u like to format your soul today?"
"1.44 inch of benevolent gratitude or 2.88" fearfull regrets ?"
"1.44 inch of benevolent gratitude or 2.88" fearfull regrets ?"
3 dec. 2009
cu timpul
omul incepe sa invete... ca saruturile nu sunt contracte si cadourile nu sunt promisiuni, si asa omul incepe sa-si accepte caderile cu capul sus si ochii larg deschisi, si invata sa-si construiasca toate drumurile bazate in astazi si acum, pentru ca terenul lui "maine" este prea nesigur pentru a face planuri
Cu timpul inveti ca a sta alaturi de cineva pentru ca iti ofera un viitor bun, inseamna ca mai devreme sau mai tarziu vei vrea sa te intorci la trecut.
Iti dai seama cu timpul ca daca esti alaturi de aceasta persoana doar pentru a-ti intovarasi singuratatea, in mod inexorabil vei ajunge sa nu mai vrei sa o vezi.
Cu timpul iti dai seama ca fiecare experienta traita alaturi de fiecare fiinta, nu se va mai repeta niciodata.
Cu timpul inveti ca grabind sau fortand lucrurile sa se petreaca, asta va determina ca in final, ele nu vor mai fi asa cum sperai.
Cu timpul iti dai seama ca in realitate, cel mai bine nu era viitorul, ci momentul pe care-l traiai exact in acel moment.
Jorge Louis Borges
Cu timpul inveti ca a sta alaturi de cineva pentru ca iti ofera un viitor bun, inseamna ca mai devreme sau mai tarziu vei vrea sa te intorci la trecut.
Iti dai seama cu timpul ca daca esti alaturi de aceasta persoana doar pentru a-ti intovarasi singuratatea, in mod inexorabil vei ajunge sa nu mai vrei sa o vezi.
Cu timpul iti dai seama ca fiecare experienta traita alaturi de fiecare fiinta, nu se va mai repeta niciodata.
Cu timpul inveti ca grabind sau fortand lucrurile sa se petreaca, asta va determina ca in final, ele nu vor mai fi asa cum sperai.
Cu timpul iti dai seama ca in realitate, cel mai bine nu era viitorul, ci momentul pe care-l traiai exact in acel moment.
Jorge Louis Borges
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